Have you ever noticed nose snorts, eye-glaring and hostility in a couple known to you? Have you wondered why they still stick to each other like glue after so much antagonism between them? Well folks, this is human behavior and human behavior is unpredictable, so read on to understand more about them.
Partners may claim to be head –over-heels in love with each other and claim to desire a harmonious relationship but actually it’s the anger snorts that bind them to each other. But doesn’t this lead to oodles of emotional pain? It does ! But there are some hidden dynamics in the relationship friends , read on to know more:
Dependency and anger
Data confirms that generally people who are dependent on the other are generally angry by nature. But we thought so differently didn’t we!
Hidden facts in a relationship
Lot of times things are very different from what they actually are. The subservient or dependent person may actually be the powerful ruler in the relationship. The partner who seems the softer one actually wears the pants in the house.
Anger is always vented out
Anger is one thing that one can’t hold on to it has to be let out somewhere and somehow. It may not be released via a verbal sparring but it is taken out somewhere in a different manner, it may be a physical tryst or a run or a cry, its just that the way of expressing the anger is different.
The “more working” partner in relationship is ruler
Have you noticed that one of the partner is the one who deals with the major works in the house, like the bank work, looking after the important documents, handling the passwords etc. The other partner gets used to the work being done and feels lost whenever away from the stronger or “more working” partner. Generally it’s the more working partner who handles the family events, the kids discipline and finances.
As time passes, partners learn how to close their eyes to each other’s faults like a roving eye, overspending habits, substance abuse or dysfunctional habits. The relationship agreements extend to all this and a pattern of agreement is established over time.
Anger projection misplaced
Lots of times people get furious as they cannot uphold their values or change unhealthy personal habits. The constant lying for protection others is agonizing but there is a temporary relief that one gets by projecting the fury at one’s own partner.
Focus on the hidden gains
In every relationship there are two sides to the story. Even in unhealthy relationships , both the partners gain in the partnership. The common reasons for sticking to each other together is the effort put into the relationship, the shared finances, the kids from the union, the society scorn at a split, cultural issues, religious sentiments and many more.
All a battered partner has to do is stand up for oneself and refuse to take emotional abuse. This practice will lead to the ability to refuse to take it anymore and the development of a healthy ego. The one thing to remember in the end is to believe that happiness is paramount and material possessions, finances and social status come second.
Anger needs to be acknowledges and one should be open to adopt the anger management techniques to enjoy a fruitful relationship. All you have to do with it is deal with the anger surge effectively!